The post I am sharing with you today is a story of love.
It is the love Stacy showed us by giving us this gift of carrying our daughter. It is the love of her husband, Justin, as he cared for her during the pregnancy and birth. It is the love Justin and I shared as we experienced this day together after so much heartache and loss. It is the love we had for our baby girl before we even saw her face.
And it was love that felt like home when she was finally in our arms.
We had a “maybe this is labor” trip to the hospital around 6am on the morning of February 9th. But after the exam, the doctor said that labor was likely imminent, but it was not time to be admitted. Justin and I grabbed some bagels and headed home. Stacy went to breakfast with her family and headed to the mall. After walking for several hours at the mall, her contractions increased and eventually became very painful. It was time to head back to the hospital. Here we are on the way….
After the exam, they said that this WAS IT! They were admitting us now.
I hope you have had a fun summer full of long days in the sunshine with friends and family. We are still holding on to the last bits of summer and have our annual beach camping trip in a few weeks. The months seem to go faster and faster though. I have one child starting Pre-K and another that is 6 months old!! Where has the time gone?
I am inching my way through our surrogacy story. Even though I am anxious to finish the story, I am enjoying doing it at a slow pace. As Ivy lives her first year, it has been special to reflect back at how she made her way into the world. So stay tuned! My next post will be her birth story full of some beautiful photos of the moment we held her for the first time.
But this post is all about the endless WAITING!! (more…)
For those of us in Southern California, the summer heat has begun! I am ready for lazy days by the pool, beach camping and enjoying the sunshine with my two precious kids.
Meanwhile, I am trying to get my act together with my blog. I think I have about 5 more entries to finish our surrogacy story. I am also secretly stalling so that my video editing husband will create a video of the whole thing for my final post. But that takes a lot of time for someone who also has a full time job making videos. So….that may need to come later. For now….on we go!
This post highlights another event that I will always cherish! Capturing family moments with photos and video is something that I value quite a bit. Even though I am a little behind, I make Shutterfly books of each year in our family life. I made a book about my pregnancy with Jack, a detailed baby book for him, and plan on doing the same for Ivy. I don’t want to miss a moment! So when something as HUGE as this surrogacy came along, I knew we needed some very special pictures. And I knew just who would take them. (more…)
Hi all! Yes, it is me. The VERY inconsistent blogger. To be fair, I am also back at work full time and writing for fun seems like a luxury right now. But my boys are on a camping trip and my baby girl is asleep for the night, so I made a date with my laptop.
I am making my way through our surrogacy story and this post is about our baby shower! Aside from our gender reveal party, this was one of the top highlights for me. I had wondered what it would be like to attend my own baby shower without my own beautiful bump, but it turned out to be just as special and perhaps even a bit more meaningful.
My parents moved into a home last summer with an amazing view! Just months after an epic move (they lived in their old home since I was 5), they graciously offered to host the event. My mom and sisters (Wendy and Beth) and my friend Mandie started chatting over email and making plans for the big day. Other family friends offered to do drinks and extra decor. My tribe is REALLY good at throwing parties and I was so honored to be on the receiving end of all their efforts. (more…)
Hope your week is going well, everyone!
I am inching my way through our surrogacy story and thought I would use this post to share a little bit about my nesting experience as an intended mother (the term for me in the surrogacy world) and to share some pictures of Ivy’s room.
As I have shared in previous posts, having someone else carry your baby is a bit of a surreal experience. It was often difficult for me to process that our biological child was the one kicking, growing and wiggling in there! Pregnancy naturally makes a woman stop, slow down, and often face the reality that a baby is on the way. But since I didn’t have morning sickness, backaches, and sleepless nights, I had to consciously decide to prepare myself for this baby. I threw a lot of that energy towards her nursery.
After our adoption fell apart, the nursery was a very tender place for me. A few months after we lost her, I chose a night to clean it out. My dad and father in law had kindly taken down the crib for us when we had left town and I had shoved some things in boxes, but it was largely untouched. So that night, I put on some of my favorite music and locked myself in there for a few hours. I sorted clothes and packed up the baby gear. I put things in large trash bags and labeled them for the future. I took down the pictures off the walls and when it was all said and done, I sat in the silence of the room and cried. I thought about the special memories we had made in that room with that sweet girl. I remembered bringing her home for the first time and seeing the IT’S A GIRL sign and pops of pink that my in-laws had surprised us with. I remembered rocking her. I remembered her first bath and the sweet outfits she wore.
I remembered losing her. (more…)
I have happily had my arms and my heart full the past 8 weeks with one very special little girl. Between diaper changes, middle of the night feedings and the very best baby snuggles, I have taken a little break from blogging. But as always, time seems to go SO FAST and I am afraid I am going to forget things about her birth….so time to catch up!
But since I only announced her birth on social media and not on here, I would like to formally introduce the newest little love of my life. Ivy Rae Kent was born on February 9, 2016 and every detail about how she came into the world was miraculous. It is the only word I can find to describe this whole thing. I am looking forward to telling you all about it!
But for now….I need to get back to telling the rest of our surrogacy story. In my last post, I had just found out that we were having a little girl at our gender reveal party. That was certainly a jittery, crazy, unbelievable high.
But as the second trimester unfolded, Stacy and I seemed to get into a routine. As with any pregnancy, it is LONG and many average days and nights pass by without much notice. And especially in my case, sometimes it was easy to forget that OUR baby was on the way. I wasn’t pregnant. I continued to drink wine, eat as much sushi as I wanted, and didn’t have to compromise my insane cheese obsession in any way. I continued to work, take care of Jack including potty training and many tantrums, struggle through my own grief over the past few years, and TRY to wrap my head around what was actually going on.
One highlight of the second trimester was feeling Ivy kick for the first time. I received a text message from Stacy in the beginning of September saying that she was pretty sure the flutters she had been feeling were indeed Ivy kicking! I was thrilled to hear this because I had been looking forward to this part of the pregnancy. Now, I could actually feel her with my own skin…with my own hands. If she couldn’t be in my belly, this was the closest thing to getting to experience her before birth.
And with it, came a wave of sadness.
I would never feel my baby kick in my own womb. (more…)
Well, we are two days away from our due date and I absolutely cannot believe that our baby has not been born yet! We were at risk for pre-term labor and thought for sure we would not make it to February. But alas, here we are!
I am working my way through our surrogacy story and hoping I am able to capture all the details about this amazing experience. Today’s post is about one of my favorite memories so far!
During our first OB appointment, our midwife told us that we were eligible to take a blood test right away to screen for chromosomal conditions. The test would also reveal the baby’s gender. In my excitement, I had already scheduled a gender reveal ultrasound at an elective ultrasound place at 14 weeks. But when they told us we could take this test right away AND that it would be 98% accurate, we decided to cancel the ultrasound. We met with a genetic counselor who explained the test and she let us know that they would call Stacy with the results. (more…)
Hi all! As many of you know, Baby Kent may be here ANY DAY NOW! I am going CRAZY. We were so busy during the holidays and it went by so fast. But now that January has hit, time seems to be going by….so…….slowly. I am praying for loads of patience because I know every day she is still in utero, she continues to grow and develop.
BUT, with all this extra time, I can get caught up on our surrogacy story!
Our story picks up after our first, successful ultrasound. Again, we were THRILLED, but the thought of an impending miscarriage kept trying to steal our joy. During these precious weeks, I trained myself to focus only on today and pray for grace and strength to live out whatever was going to happen. It brought me some peace, but it was hard not to be on edge.
Thankfully, when you do IVF or a FET, you get TONS of ultrasounds. Our doctor let us come in every week until we “graduated” at 10 weeks to our regular OB. Each week, our baby continued to grow and I began to take a deep breath. It was amazing to see how much had changed each week! (more…)
It is 11:12pm on 11/29/2015. There are 48 minutes left until her birthday.
I am sitting in the nursery that I have worked on the last few months preparing for my daughter who is due to be born in a few short months.
But tonight I am thinking about another little girl I gave my heart to one year ago today. I want so badly to type her name here. To tell you the name we gave “our” little girl. To tell you that her middle name was my Grandma’s name. I want to say her name out loud to remind myself and anyone listening that she was once a part of our family.
But she isn’t mine anymore. And it doesn’t feel right to say it out loud. (more…)