Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I am already seeing the blogs circulate. I am thrilled that we are speaking honestly about a day that is tender for so many of us.
As I sit outside on this Saturday afternoon with my laptop in hand, I am aware that I could write on many topics surrounding motherhood. I know the feeling of yearning to become a mother and not being able to. I know what it is like to give birth and raise a child with my husband’s eyes and my hair color. I know what it is like to mother a child that has someone else’s eyes and hair- to watch your heart and family expand through adoption.
I know what it is like to peel the white strings off of oranges because that’s the only way they will be eaten. I know what it is like to sleep, but not really, only then to stumble down the hall towards a baby that needs you. I know what it is like to be utterly vulnerable and exposed because after all, motherhood is scary. Knowing that every inch of your heart is walking around with that tiny person is risky. And yet, we take it. We open ourselves up to it all, knowing that it is worth it to love these precious ones. (more…)
After I posted about our hospital experience, my (new) friend, Rebecca Vahle, reached out to me through my site and asked if I would be her guest on her radio show, Adoption Perspectives.
I was thrilled to hear from her because I already knew of her! During my prep for the hospital experience, I was reading and listening to anything I could get my hands on. Rebecca was a guest on a podcast I listened to and she discussed the importance of making a hospital plan before the birth in an open adoption. Although our facilitator was already doing that with us, listening to Rebecca speak about her experiences during this emotional time really prepared our family for our own experience. She founded the Family to Family Support Network. Their mission statement is:
Empowering healthcare workers and families through adoption education, support and community connection.(more…)
Welcome! If this is your first time visiting my site, I am glad you are here! thought I would post a “quick” summary of our story and include some links to help you find your way around. Here is the highlight reel: (more…)
I have found that grief is an awful lot like floating in an ocean.
First, the GRIEF EVENT happens and some time passes. The funeral is over. The people have gone home. The relationship is done. The papers are signed. The diagnosis settles in. Or in my case, the pregnancy is over and your arms are still empty. You are so stunned from this storm, this GRIEF EVENT, but eventually you notice that the sky is starting to clear. Then slowly, you are surprised to notice you are still floating in water. (more…)
Last night, Justin and I watched the movie “Her.” It was nominated for several awards so when it came up on our list of prospective movies, we clicked on it. While it was slightly odd and some parts of it were …um…uncomfortable, I overall enjoyed its creativity and perspective. The writing was thought provoking and the cinematography itself was beautiful. (more…)
We, as humans, like to believe we have some sense of control. You study a lot and you get into college. You work hard and you get a good job. And so it goes. Each step, we are building a road of sorts and life just keeps handing us brick after brick. And when things are going well, it is easy to start to believe the road is endless.
Today I would have met you. I would have known you, of course, after carrying you in my womb for the last 40 weeks. I would have felt your kicks and squirms, and I would have laughed at your hiccups that woke me up in the middle of the night. And after knowing you in a veiled sort of way, today, I would have met you. (more…)