Archive of ‘Infertility’ category

Surrogacy Series #5- Pregnancy Test and First Ultrasound

Happy new year, friends!  Can I tell you how happy I am that 2016 has arrived?  Like many of you, it is time for a fresh start.  The turning of a new year reminds me that there is always a chance to begin again.

If that’s you….start today.

Begin again.

You may have noticed that in the new year, my site has a brand new look!  One of my goals this year is to take my writing and my blog a bit more seriously.  My brother and hubby helped me give my site a makeover and the beautiful images from our friend, Aaron Huniu Photography, were a very special addition. Thank you, guys!

Also, you may notice I have a brand new logo!  My good friend from high school, Jenny, has since turned her passion into her profession and I pretty much love everything she does.  She graciously designed the logo of my dreams and it was such a pleasure to work with her.  If you need a new logo, have an upcoming wedding, or would like some stunning art pieces, you NEED to check out her site, Graceline. Thank you, Jenny!

My last post in my surrogacy series told the story of our Transfer day. We were now in the dreaded “two week wait”  (the term those of us in the infertility world use to describe the agonizing time between treatment and the pregnancy test).

This waiting period is never fun, but this time we had so much at sake.  We had spent thousands on the medical and legal fees. Stacy, her husband Justin, and their family were invested.  Our friends and family were waiting with anticipation.

Please, Lord.  Let this work…. (more…)


Surrogacy Series #4- Transfer Day!

Hi all!  Apparently, last time I got a little too confident about blogging weekly.  Justin started a new job and it has been a bit of a struggle adjusting to our new schedule and all the moving parts that come with having two full time jobs and raising a three year old.  But writing is important to me and I am going to need to learn to squeeze it in somewhere!

The story so far has led us right up to Transfer Day!!!

Stacy had been faithfully following the protocol leading up to this day.  She had graciously been administering drugs and shots to get her body ready to actually transfer the embryos.  She passed all the requirements and we got the green light to proceed with the transfer as scheduled.

This day has always been a day full of many powerful emotions for me.  I had experienced 5 of them at the time of this story, so I knew the drill by heart. I knew about getting the call from the embryologist in the morning, the long drive up to Del Mar, sitting in the waiting room with clenched hands and nervous minds, meeting the embryologist and seeing a picture of our little babies, the relatively painless and fast process of transferring the embryos, laying in the dark and quiet room alone in my thoughts and prayers afterward, and the equally long drive home with the astonishing feeling that there were now more than just the two of us in the car.

But today would be different.  (more…)


Adoption Perspectives Radio Show

Guys!  I was on the radio!

After I posted about our hospital experience, my (new) friend, Rebecca Vahle, reached out to me through my site and asked if I would be her guest on her radio show, Adoption Perspectives.

I was thrilled to hear from her because I already knew of her!  During my prep for the hospital experience, I was reading and listening to anything I could get my hands on.  Rebecca was a guest on a podcast I listened to and she discussed the importance of making a hospital plan before the birth in an open adoption.  Although our facilitator was already doing that with us, listening to Rebecca speak about her experiences during this emotional time really prepared our family for our own experience.  She founded the Family to Family Support Network.  Their mission statement is:

Empowering healthcare workers and families through adoption education, support and community connection. (more…)

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An Ocean of Grief

I have found that grief is an awful lot like floating in an ocean.

First, the GRIEF EVENT happens and some time passes.  The funeral is over.  The people have gone home.  The relationship is done.  The papers are signed.  The diagnosis settles in.  Or in my case, the pregnancy is over and your arms are still empty.  You are so stunned from this storm, this GRIEF EVENT, but eventually you notice that the sky is starting to clear.  Then slowly, you are surprised to notice you are still floating in water. (more…)


Now We Know How

Last night, Justin and I watched the movie “Her.” It was nominated for several awards so when it came up on our list of prospective movies, we clicked on it. While it was slightly odd and some parts of it were …um…uncomfortable, I overall enjoyed its creativity and perspective. The writing was thought provoking and the cinematography itself was beautiful. (more…)


When You Run Out of Road

We, as humans, like to believe we have some sense of control. You study a lot and you get into college. You work hard and you get a good job. And so it goes. Each step, we are building a road of sorts and life just keeps handing us brick after brick. And when things are going well, it is easy to start to believe the road is endless.

Until, one moment, you run out of road. (more…)


To My March 1 Babies

Dear my March 1 Babies,

Today I would have met you. I would have known you, of course, after carrying you in my womb for the last 40 weeks. I would have felt your kicks and squirms, and I would have laughed at your hiccups that woke me up in the middle of the night. And after knowing you in a veiled sort of way, today, I would have met you.  (more…)


Infertility Journey #3: The Marathon

Thank you so much for your recent support in writing this blog. Since my last post (although it was too long ago), I have already received dozens of messages and comments about the people out there with broken pieces. I guess we are not that different, even though we have different stories.

So I will pick up the story after my “Black Friday”.  (more…)

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